Another article on "Straight" guys having non-hetero sex

[Herbwoman39]

I liked this article because it brought up the very valid point that in the US, it's more acceptable for a woman to be Bi than it is for a man. It also brings up cultural differences in male sexuality.

Enjoy :-)

http://www.villagevoice.com/2008-07-29/columns/straight-men-who-have-sex-with-men/

PS: As with most women here, I think Bi guys are SOOO hot!

[Long Duck Dong]

lol... they want to be careful, they will get outed for using the wrong label......

I know a friend that is straight and had oral with males.... he said, he doesn't feel gay.... tho I am not sure how you feel gay.....

in the olde celtic ways, it is called sibrwd yr enaid calonnau ( whispers of the hearts soul )

you are not attracted to the same sex or the opposite sex ( if you are gay ) sex doesn't interest you..... yet there is something far deeper... a connection and it can be expressed thru a sexual act...... but its not sexually based.....

most people think of it as a soulmate connection or such like.... but its not lol

anyways, its near impossible to explain in words..... but empathic and spiritual people will know what I mean........

as for the rest of people, they will argue about the people are actually closeted and in denial........ and well thats people who see things in terms of sex and whom they want to fuck......

some of us know better...... its not the ID, label or term of identifying that matters.... its the connection and the energy

[DuckiesDarling]

For me there is one major problem with that article.... the dateline By Tristan Taormino Tuesday, Jul 29 2008.

Sorry but the world has changed a lot in a few years and literally it's not news. As was posted you are bi when you say you are bi not when the world says you are. There are many people in this world that can have sex with different genders all night long and never consider they were doing anything but having fun.

[darkeyes]

As was posted you are bi when you say you are bi not when the world says you are. There are many people in this world that can have sex with different genders all night long and never consider they were doing anything but having fun.

Welll... not quite sure I agree wivya entirely Darlin' darlin'.. u r bi if yas bi wether or not u or ne 1 else says u r.. lotsa peeps jus don have a clue wot ther sexuality is, an never will.. funny ole world innit?

Interestin hypothesis tho ya make bout havin fun... canya havya end away wiv ya own sex all nite long, enjoy it an not b a lil bi or gay? Hmmm... not 2 sure bout that 1... ya may not consider it... but sumhow hav me doubts howeva much ya protest ya str8ness...:)

[colobicouple]

Like Herbwoman I find bi guys to be extremely hot and have been married to one for a long long time. The labeling society places on us (or we place upon ourselves) is to me just a way of identifying our interests. If a guy labels himself as being "gay" he most likely has no interest in me but if "bi" then he might. The same is true for women. It just helps us identify where peoplle are coming from. Sadly, our society is too quick to attach labels to most everyone in some fashion. But in my opinion the bottom line is to be true to yourself. Whatever label I have doesn't matter because I am what and who I am and people can take it or leave it.

Sharon

[ironwood]

I to like this article.When are people going to mind there own business and leave people and there beliefs and sexual preference alone.If it is not in a harmfull or assualtive way who care what people do.I am a firm believer in do what you feel is right and not what others think or feel.We all have opinion's but keep them to yourself.who is anyone to judge others for what they enjoy.

[tenni]

I think that I have heard some of the explanations about having raw sex (without feelings of intimacy and emotion) between men. There are other reasons that the female writer did not "get" or present. Although the point that it is easier to have sex with a man than a woman touches on some of the unmentioned reasons.

I find gay men who profess disgust for other men who do not or will not classify themselves as anything but straight a bit more of a concern. They politicize sex while these so self labelling straight men are not interested in identifying socio politically as anything but straight. I agree that it should not matter but it does seem to matter to the "out" crowd. I vote for who cares how you perceive yourself unless you get your cocked sucked and make homophobic statements at the same time to cover yourself. Do it. Just don't be a hypocrite.

DD
I find your statement that much has changed over the past two years interesting. I'd be interested in what you see as having changed over the past two years since this article has been published.

[fredtyg]

I thought she certainly was a little off base with some of the things she was trying to say, but I liked the article if for no other reason than it's just one more effort to make sexual contact between men more of a norm. Anything that will let guys feel more at ease about sex with other guys is a good thing, imo.

I wouldn't consider a guy that goes out and gets regular oral sex from other guys straight, but what the heck. If labeling himself straight helps him feel comfortable doing it, more power to him. As more and more articles like this are published, hopefully some of these "straight" guys will feel more comfortable adopting the bi label.

[tequilafan]

It is an interesting article, but the comments are a better read than the actual article.

[biblkman]

I agree with most of the posts on that site.
Straight, hetro men do not engage in same sex activities, bi and gay men do.
If for whatever reason you engage in consentual same sex activities, your bi or gay.

The men who have same sex encounters but identify themselves as staight do so because of the negativity and stigma that come with labeling your self as bi or gay

[tenni]

I agree with most of the posts on that site.
Straight, hetro men do not engage in same sex activities, bi and gay men do.
If for whatever reason you engage in consentual same sex activities, your bi or gay.

The men who have same sex encounters but identify themselves as staight do so because of the negativity and stigma that come with labeling your self as bi or gay


I would write ...not necessarily so. There is a section called "situational bisexual". Men in prisons often become sexual with other men. When they leave prison, some do not have same sex experiences again. Others, may continue being sexually involved with other men. Men who take oral rather than give oral and men who give anal rather than receive may border of this "situational bisexual". Men who have grown tired of being in failed relationships with women, sometimes turn to other men to release sexually. They have no sexual attraction to other men. They are sexually attracted to women only. It is merely convenient or more convenient.

It really shouldn't matter what you think unless you are referring to yourself. It may be a fine line but it is no one else's business what you perceive yourself to be. Bisexuals should not ridicule or put "lol" to these comments. You really can only determine yourself and so stop judging others.

[DuckiesDarling]

I agree with you, Tenni. Even more disturbing are the numbers of men who are unwilling participants in same sex sexual activities in prison. There are also reports of women being subjected to prison rape not only by other inmates but by some of the male guards.